I keep the TV on the cable music channel while I’m home during the day, and I sometimes notice the little facts about each artist they flash on the screen. I have to say, this is the best one I’ve ever seen:
Jason Mraz says he’s inspired by robots, God, breakdancing, and smoking.
Awesome.
My hair was bugging the crap out of me, so I whipped out my hair scissors (which had been stashed away since my daughter took them to her own hair a few months ago and butchered her ‘do into a weird ‘93-esque mushroom bob) and cut myself some sideswept bangs. I’m pretty pleased with how they turned out, too - they might actually be a little on the long side, but hey, I like to err on the side of not-fucked-up-hair, y’know? And here’s the best part: you can’t see my forehead wrinkles nearly as well!
I just got off the phone with my sister, who informed me that my nephew, her youngest son, is getting married tomorrow. My 20-year-old very cute nephew, the one who likes to ride bulls and get into trouble with the law. He’s marrying his sweetheart - a 31-year-old, 300-pound woman who has five kids from five different men, the oldest of whom is just two years younger than my nephew. Evidently they met at the jail, while they were both visiting people. She gave him a ride and it was looooove.
I did a little auntie-stalking and found her MySpace page. She’s got the whitest, permed bleach blond hair I’ve ever seen. And under, “I’d Like to Meet…” she has listed, “The entire cast of Reba and Dog the Bounty Hunter.” And according to my sister, the plan is for her to make her entrance on a 4-wheeler, wearing a tea-length wedding gown and pink camouflage Fat Baby boots.
Like I said, I can’t make this shit up.
And it’s not like I’m just being a big shit talker. If he loved this gal, I’d embrace her Jerry Springer-esque self with open arms. But he just met her, like…a month or so ago! Crrrrrazy, man. Just crazy.
I forgot to mention the best part: he lied to my sister and told her they were postponing the wedding. He didn’t want his mama there because he’s afraid she’ll stand up and OBJECT during the ceremony!
I found a fantastic site the other day full of Weight Watchers recipes - Gina’s Weight Watchers Recipes.
I love that she has recipes organized by their points value - and I really love that she has beautiful pictures that accompany each recipe! I’m sort of a visual person, and it’s helpful for me to be able to see it in my mind, and imagine it on my plate. Helps me figure out whether or not this is something I can serve my husband or if he’ll turn his nose up at it!
Well. I went out in public in a bathing suit, and I didn’t burst into flames or anything. Nobody poured gasoline on themselves, lit a match, and then jumped out the window like on Family Guy. It wasn’t that big of a deal, I guess. Of course, I was fairly busy trying to keep my children safe from all the little hoodrats trying to jump directly on top of them into the pool. Yeah, we won’t be going back to that pool again. It was LAME!
Most importantly, though, I feel like I conquered a little something within myself, there! I even shaved my legs. Go, me.
I’m about to take my children to the pool and wear a swimsuit in public for the first time in, uh, YEARS. I generally just kick it by the side of the pool in shorts, but I’ve decided for safety’s sake, I need to get in the pool with them. They’re getting to be big enough that they’re ready to venture past the 1-foot-deep kiddy pool!
I may update later on how it turned out, assuming I don’t die a thousand deaths from the humiliation of showcasing my giant white veiny legs to the world.
It consumes me!
I went to lunch with my hubby and a coworker of his today. I’ve met the guy before. He’s nice. We’ve talked occasionally. But I have such an awful confession to make - for the first time ever, I noticed he’s actually pretty hot. Looks like he’s put on some weight since the last time I saw him, and he’s looking, y’know, like a MAN. I kept catching myself stealing glances his way. So, there ya go. Men aren’t the only ones who are PIGS. Women are, too!
Don’t worry. I’m smitten as a kitten with my own man, and would never go a’strayin’. Still, though. That was weird!
Okay, this is going to make me sound like the biggest dork poser wannabe whiner on the planet, but I don’t care - it needs to be said! I’ve been trying to lose weight for years now. By “trying” I mean, doing a completely half-assed job of dieting, and only exercising by chasing my kids around and cleaning the house. I know in my heart and in my head as well that this isn’t going to cut it anymore. I lost a little weight 3 years ago when I started on Weight Watchers (about 20 pounds or so) and then, that was it. That was pretty much it.
This should have been my cue to start working OUT, for God’s sake, but no. Nooooo, I couldn’t do that. My back hurts, and my knees hurt, and I’m too tired, and the kids are running me ragged, and I have no time to exercise, and hell if I’m going to get up at the crack of dawn to work out when I HAVE to stay up past midnight every single night, doing nothing but fucking around online, trying to carve out a tiny little bit of my day where I’m not wiping anyone’s nose or ass because all the kids are asleep in bed. I have arthritis, mostly thanks to the fact that I’ve been abusing my joints for the past decade or so. I’m not sure what the approach should be there - take painkillers before and after every workout until I actually LOSE some weight and my knees stop hurting? Whatever. People get through it; apparently I am not one of those people.
So. A few weeks back, I was chatting with a very good friend of mine. We were best friends in high school, and have kept in touch off and on throughout our adult lives. She’s always been, oh, around the same size as me, sometimes bigger, usually smaller, but never SKINNY, y’know? She’s always been A Big Girl. And then, like a year ago, I saw some new pictures of her and she was LITTLE. Tiny! Smaller than I’d EVER seen her, even when we were in high school, at our skinniest. I wrote about it back then (and posted pictures!) here. I was so proud of her, and awestruck, and naturally, JEALOUS, and wishing MY stretched-out-to-there double-twin-pregnancies belly looked like hers! So while we were chatting the other week, for the first time in forever, I asked her how she lost so much weight. And her answer was sooooo annoyingly predictable:
I stopped eating all the time and only ate when I was hungry. And I got up early and worked out with my friend 5 days a week. It took about a year, but I lost about seventy pounds!
Bitch! She couldn’t have told me, “I picked up a meth habit!” or “I had cancer, but beat it,” or even, “I had lap band!” Nope. She had to give me the complete logical, common sense, “I did this the way you’re supposed to do it, dumbass, through lots of hard work” answer. Such a buzzkill!
I kid, I kid. I AM thrilled for her, proud of her, and after knowing her more than half my life, really just giddy for her. What must it be like to be…skinny? After being fat pretty much your whole life?
I’m posting it all here because it IS giving me newfound motivation! She lost a ton of weight as a busy, working, single mom of teenagers. Surely, I can find it within myself to get off my fat ass and start moving my body, yes? Yes? I know it can be done.
I might be filling my cart with Ben-Gay and Doan’s Back Pills every time I’m at the market, but arthritis be damned! It’s on, now!
Anybody else on WeightLossWars.com? Here is my profile there. Come be my friend! You can see I need motivation. Ha!
Actually, I’m not doing too bad. I’m definitely more down than up over the past couple of weeks.
